When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
