Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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