ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
