If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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