Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
