this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
