tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
