It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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