I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
