I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
