I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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