you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Send help, water and tortillas.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
