I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
