She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Boobs speak an international language.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
