jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dicks are not precious.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
