Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
