Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
honey bunches of taint.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
