Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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