is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
