who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
