This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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