you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
