Don't make out with my wife yet
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
