I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
