Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
