Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
