OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
