Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
