you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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