he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
