do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
