D3 body, D1 cock
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
