If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
