:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
