just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
is it fun? or sober?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
