in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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