you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
