I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
