i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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