you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Send help, water and tortillas.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
