whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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