It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm really busy with my period
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