ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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