can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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