she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
