The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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