i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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