So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
FUCK WHALES
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
