So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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