Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
