I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
